Dear friend and reader, may this find you well.
I want to share something that’s been deeply stirring within me lately — a truth that feels both profound and unsettling, that the so called "Dark Night of the Soul" is part of the Ilusion of who we preceive ourSelf to be, and in order to innerstand this “You need to die to live.”
What does that really mean? It’s not about physical death, but about the death of your story—your identity, your beliefs about who you are, your ego’s grip on your life. I’ve realized that as long as I’m holding tightly to my story—where I come from, what I’ve been through, what I think I’m supposed to be—I’m blocking myself from tasting the real, blissful nectar of life.
Time? It’s just an illusion, a mental construct. The past and future don’t truly exist except in our minds. Life happens only now, in this moment. But our ego keeps dragging us back into old stories, into fear and attachment, and that’s where suffering grows.
If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.
One of the biggest steps I’ve found is letting go of desires and ambitions—not in a forced way, but by opening to the flow of life itself. I used to think ambition was everything. Career, goals, achievements. But what I see now is that all this “wanting” clutters the vessel inside, leaving no room for the cosmic intelligence, the real source of joy and peace, to flow in.
Fear, too, has been a big teacher. The ego feeds on fear, but fear itself is an illusion. When I started seeing fear as a creation of my mind, I felt a huge weight lift off.
There’s also this constant pull between mind and heart. I remember reading about Native American elders who couldn’t understand how people could live so much in their heads and so little from the heart. That really hit me. Our real intelligence is deeper than thought—it lives in the center of our being, the “navel consciousness,” where we connect with the flow of life.
And then there’s the shadow side—anger, shame, sorrow. These emotions aren’t enemies but messengers. I had to face my own anger toward my mother, a story I held onto for years. It took raw honesty and reflection to see it wasn’t really about her, but about how I perceived the world. Holding onto these stories only keeps the pain alive.
The mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts.
The mind is the 'I' thought.
The ego rises up and creates the illusion of suffering.
I’ve learned that trying to “redirect” these emotions—putting anger into work or ambition—is like sweeping dirt under the rug. It doesn’t heal. Healing happens when you look directly at the pain and integrate it with compassion—for yourself and others.
No guru or teacher can hand you this light. It’s inside you, waiting for the ego to loosen its grip. The moment your ego questions itself deeply, the door to bliss opens.
Suffering is not bad—it’s simply a chosen experience on this earth walk. And awareness that you are the lens creating your reality is the very first step to change. If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, remember: that’s your invitation to inquiry and awakening.
If this resonates with you, I invite you to listen to the full podcast episode where we dive deeper into these ideas and explore practical ways to embody this truth.
I promise, it’s an honest, raw conversation that might just give you some fresh insights or at least a sense that you’re not alone on this path.
Thank you for being here and for walking this journey with me.
Welcome back to your Undivided Self.
With love and presence,
Oana Sophia
🎧 Watch the episode on YouTube:
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